I said to the mother of a daughter I was working with that she needed to be more particular about the people she allowed into her life. She responded that she tries to do the right thing, be non-judgmental and accepts people for who they are. I replied that she could not be more wrong.
Her daughter was chronically ill
The mother brought her daughter to see me about a chronic illness. I finally got to the bottom of the disease by using the investigation process in Forensic Healing. The sickness was triggered when her angry sister was present with her daughter at a family occasion. I asked the mother to describe her sister and the words she used were “angry, jealous and competitive.” That said it all to me. Just as unhealthy or toxic foods will destroy your health, the same can be said for toxic and unhealthy people.
People underestimate the power of emotion and what it can do to a person. Emotions are the most powerful form of energy. Love can heal a person and hate can embed a curse. I said to the mother that she needed to be more caring to herself and her daughter, to be more particular about the people she allows into her life. The cost has been too high – years of emotional, financial and physical strain, let alone the pressure on her daughter’s life.
People’s emotions contain powerful energy
You can go for years and not realise how the people around you, or the people from your past, have affected outcomes in your life. I know this all too well. I have attuned myself to energy so well that I have become very connected to feeling others emotions as clearly as you read the words on a page. This has become a great gift and taught me the power of other’s intentions and emotions, on a person’s life. I have learned this lesson due to the pain I have endured by not being “awake” enough to realise what had been going on around me. I was too concerned about making sure the people around me were happy that I ignored my gut feeling and messages.
There have been some great lessons for me as pain has been my teacher and greatest motivator to change. Even though you think your friends want the best for you, I have written a checklist so you can ‘read’ between the lines to see if you are a good friend to others or you have good, genuine friends around you. It takes a person who truly understands universal laws to be aware of the impact of others and a person who is a sincere friend, balanced and aware, to notice those who aren’t.
People who pretend can be dangerous
People who ‘pretend’ in life and don’t reveal who they are have unresolved anger and target this negative emotion on the people around them. I have met many people who appear to be lovely, sweet and happy who were only pretending. These people have opened my eyes to what their underlying inadequacies can do to a person and the detrimental effects it has on finances, health, and relationships. The way to judge a person’s genuineness and motives is to look at what they say about others, how they treat others and how you feel when you are with them. Of course, how they treat or speak to you needs to be considered.
This checklist will help you see who your friends really are…
Do they make derogatory comments about others in general? Do they persuade you to not like someone? Do they use a “grooming” process to dis-empower others so they can have the power over you? Do they make some positive comments then negate them with derogatory comments? Are they negative about people on TV, neighbours, clients, friends or family? The patterns of their inner thoughts are showing you what they really think about you.
A genuine, positive friend will focus on finding the positive in someone or what a person has taught them about themselves. Their focus is to uplift others and not tear down a person.
Is this person competitive or jealous of others achievements or successes? If a person does not express genuine happiness for other’s success, this shows a competitive, controlling or jealous nature. The person has a lack of self worth and tries to be “better” than others. They complain about other’s income, integrity or community status and they will have intentions for others to fail. This will harm or block a person’s progress in life. Jealousy is a curse!
When a person genuinely celebrates other’s success and achievements you know they will genuinely celebrate and want the best for you. They understand laws of attraction; what you wish for another you wish for yourself.
Does this person blame others when things go wrong? Do they say “They did this to me and it was wrong” and play the victim or martyr role? Do they enjoy complaining about the service they received or a product they bought? I knew a person who told me they send three- fold negativity to people they categorise as “negative”. I did not realize how profound this statement was until I was the target of their negativity. This person was saying they blame others for their problems and they will curse them with as much power as they can.
On the contrary, people who use statements such as “I created this, I wonder why?” are the ones who take responsibility and find their message. This means they will not blame you and send negativity to you. These people are inspiring to be around as they unravel life’s mysteries.
Does this person use subtle negative comments about others and then use self-righteous remarks and tell you how great others say they are? Do they claim to be better than others, so they appear to have authority? Do they lie or exaggerate the facts or love to gossip? Do they pursue arguments and make threats to others?
A good friend will allow you to make your own choices and not embellish to persuade you. They are honest about their personal feelings, they and ultimately let you make your own decisions. Their purpose is to help, not put others down.
Does this person have unresolved anger towards another person? Do they hold unresolved emotions from childhood? If a person is not willing to heal themselves and resolve their anger, then you will be the target of their anger.
Balanced and forgiving people have learnt universal laws, recognize their vulnerabilities and strive to progress, change and heal themselves. They transform their pain and hurt into their power.
Does this person have negative associations you would not choose as friends? I love teaching workshops as I see similar people make connections with people just like them. The genuine, kind people always connect with each other. They have the best experience and people love being around them. If I interact with a negative person, I will disconnect from them and from their friends as the friends will have the same negativity. It is as simple as “Like attracts Like”.
A good, genuine friend has positive relationships and positive friends. They have a lot of love for other people, and they are selective with of the people they associate. When a person talks about the people around them, they are describing themselves. If they have nice friends, this “nice energy” will become who they are. I can’t say it more plainly than “You are your relationships”.
How does your friend “feel” to you? Do you feel drained, low or do negative things happen after you connect with them? Do you act negatively around these people when you are generally positive?
A connection with a good friend should feel uplifting and inspire you to be better. You leave them feeling energised, calm and positive. You should feel their genuineness and feel you can trust them.
Write your comments below. I would love to hear about your own experiences in finding and building relationships with good friends in your life.
Blessings and love to you always,