It never ceases to amaze me how childhood experiences create ongoing patterns and conditioning within us. I was recently working with a lovely girl (I will call her Kelly) who came to my Forensic Healing clinic for spiritual and energy healing (or similar to kinesiology.)

I initially saw Kelly three years prior as she was distressed over an ex-boyfriend who had betrayed her. She was now feeling unsure about her current boyfriend Josh because he had told her many white lies and saw nothing wrong with his behaviour.

When she questioned him about his lying, he responded that it was no big deal and she was overreacting. At the same time, Kelly was afraid he would betray her and leave her for another girl just as her ex-boyfriend did. She worried that her fears and ‘overreacting’ would push him to have an affair.

Your Programs are Embedded in Your DNA at Birth

When I identified the age where her programming was embedded, it tested for age 11. At that time, Kelly’s mother would lie to her and tell her she was visiting an aunt but instead she went gambling.

Kelly would call her aunt to speak to her mother and her aunt would confirm she wasn’t at her house. This was a common occurrence when Kelly was young.

These childhood experience and conditioning on relationships had become Kelly’s blueprint. Having these childhood experiences would explain why Kelly attracted untrustworthy relationships similar to her mother’s behaviour.

Kelly’s dilemma was that her current boyfriend Josh would tell her that he loved her, however, he also lied and betrayed his ex-girlfriends. Kelly questioned whether he would do the same to her. Would he betray her for another woman? Josh professed he would always be there and not betray her, yet he continued to tell white lies, even knowing it made her extremely uncomfortable.

Lies Betray Trust

Kelly felt unstable in her relationship which caused her to constantly check on him. This behaviour would frustrate and annoy Josh.  Kelly also had confusing thoughts believing the problem in the relationship was her fault as her mother would reinforce that Josh was a decent, nice guy, and to stay with him.

I needed to tell it straight and reiterate to Kelly that her feelings matter and her concerns need to be addressed. Her feelings should not be minimised or deflected. My recommendation was to require the truth from Josh by communicating what she expects from him. To have permission to question everything he says by asking “Is that a white lie or the truth?”

This would assist him to change his habit of telling lies which was a lifelong habit. If he continued to lie, Kelly could choose to break the pattern of accepting this behaviour and insist she deserves someone she can trust. I jokingly mentioned that she should have a master’s degree on people who had deceived her, and she should be taking notes of her past experiences!!

It was interesting that  Kelly also described a work colleague who was backstabbing others and herself. It was evident that Kelly had attracted many people she couldn’t trust. If a person continues to accept poor behaviour then this energy is carried in them and they will continue to attract the same type of people. It was a signal for Kelly to wake up to her boyfriend’s untrustworthiness.