The Number 1 Reason People Don’t Change.

Everyone has dreams and desires they want to fulfil. Whether it’s completing a degree, running a business, feeling joy, overcoming fears, losing weight, experiencing a loving relationship, or speaking to thousands. Achieving goals in life gives you a wonderful sense of accomplishment and pride.

Have you shared your dreams and desires with others or spent countless hours daydreaming about them? Now time has passed, are you any closer to reaching them?  You probably recognise that you need to change but see yourself in the same predicaments and the same feelings you had years ago.

There is a science behind the reasons you reach your dreams or why you don’t. If you achieve your desires, it is because you make the necessary CHANGES and move out of your comfort zone.  

If you haven’t reached the place you dreamed about, then this article will shed some light on why you don’t change and what to do about it.

Common excuses why people don’t change:

• Judgment from others 
• Responsibilities and too busy
• Self-doubt and unworthiness
• Environmental influences
• Lack skills and finances 
• Not wanting to be uncomfortable/too set in their ways
• Prefer to play victim or martyr

But the main reason that people don’t change that would override their excuses is their lack of passion. 

1. Lack of Passion 

The reason for not feeling passion can come from a childhood where you weren’t rewarded for completing tasks or you were criticised when you did them. This sets up a cycle that if you achieve something you will be disappointed as you aren’t acknowledged or you are criticised. This cycle repeats in adulthood and could be the reason you feel unmotivated and passionless. It can be a reason for not changing.

Passion is the main ingredient needed to reach your dreams. It is the force that overrides all the obstacles and discomfort to move you forward.

Passion is a strong force of energy that catapults you into your future, or it can be a passionate distaste to keep living the same way. This passion increases, the more painful the situation becomes.

Making changes involves work that may not be interesting or enjoyable. To make changes that take you out of your comfort zone, you need passion to push you through when the going gets tough.

There are times when you will question your motives for change. But with a strong desire for change, you can more easily overcome your doubt.

Passion Generates Energy

Passionate energy draws in the Universal forces to assist you with your desires. It helps you attract all the right resources needed to complete your goals and desire even when they seem impossible.  

The necessary changes made to reach your desires are easier when you receive support from others.  No matter how important your dreams are, without passion, you can lose interest halfway to making a lasting change.

2. Pain

Everyone experiences pain in their life: heartache, loss, disappointment, betrayal etc. Suffering is a part of the human condition. When you’re experiencing deep pain, it can be difficult to believe that you can recover and mend from it. 

The notion that one day your pain might be a blessing and that you would be grateful seems a completely foreign concept.  When the pain becomes too much to bear, it creates a space for a person to be open to new things and willing to make changes to stop the pain. When you can see the pain as a message to change and stop blaming others and find things to be GRATEFUL then you will experience many positive changes. 

Even in your pain, you have a choice to use it for positive change or not. You decide whether you will take the opportunity and turn it into something triumphant, or whether we will consume you. When you consider the current and future pain of your inaction such as massive debt, serious illness, bad relationships, change becomes much more urgent. 

Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is a positive psychological change experienced as a result of adversity and other challenges to rise to a higher level of functioning.  Post-traumatic growth involves life-changing psychological shifts in thinking and relating to the world, that contribute to a personal process of change, that is deeply meaningful.

3. Environmental Influence

Your circumstances may temper your desire for change. If you want to lose weight and everyone around you is consumes junk food, it is going to be challenging to change. The pressure to conform and follow the “normal” routine will be like paddling upstream.

Moreover, consuming media filled with fear-inducing news and shows will make facing your fears more difficult.

4. Fear of Failure

Throughout life, we learned to dread failures. From personal experience to societal feedback, we realised that failure can bring undesirable effects. While there can be serious consequences to failures, we often exaggerate them and refuse to act based on unrealistic assumptions.

5. Lack of Real Interest

You may say you want to change, but how badly do you want it, and what are you willing to do for it? Is the desire to change your wishes or the wishes of your parents, partners or friends? If the need for change doesn’t come from within, it will be hard to stay motivated to achieve your goals.

What happens when you don’t change?

1. You Get Stuck 

Progress can’t be made without taking action. When you are stuck in one area of your life, this then affects other areas. Apart from not fulfilling a specific dream, your career, health, and financial status may suffer as well because the feeling of stagnation in one area may influence your other life decisions.

2. Unhappiness

When you decide to change, you accept that your current situation is not good enough. The more you stay there, the more you feel let down by yourself. You may also feel inadequate for failing to measure up to your personal standard. In extreme cases, hopelessness may set in.

3. Your Relationship Suffers

Not changing yourself or behaviour could disrupt your existing relationship and sabotage new ones. When you sink into a negative pattern and refuse efforts to break it, you are bound to repeat mistakes that cost you good relationships in the past.

4. Decreased Passion

While a lack of passion prevents real change, the lack of change can further erode your passions for other things to create a negative feedback loop.  Other effects of not changing include:

1. A false sense of rigidity
2. Overthinking
3. An unhealthy dependence on a person or substance
   

How to Change

1. Reflect on your goals and why you want them. Modify or replace goals that are not entirely yours.

2 Expand your ambition. If there is not enough passion for change, your dreams might be too small. Expand them to a level where they inspire you due to the significant positivity it can create in your life. A bigger plan may spark the fire that you need to see change through.

3. Identify your passion. Passion doesn’t feel the same way to everybody. From your experience, you will know the real feeling that passion elicits in you so you can cultivate it.

4. Don’t fuel your doubts as it can extinguish the fire in you. When negativity arises,  find the root cause and work through it.

5. Take small steps and don’t get consumed with how you are going to achieve your dreams. The Universe will be assisting you so you can cut yourself some slack

6 Change your environment when necessary. This may include severing or limiting ties with jealous people, people who don’t want you to change or fight to keep the status quo.

7 Accept that setbacks are normal and face your fear of failure. Change the concept that failure is bad; failure means that you are learning and have courage. 

8 Regularly evaluate the cost of not changing think about the cumulative pain it could bring in the future. 

9 Learn the necessary skills to achieve your dreams. Seek out people/mentors who have made the changes that you want to instil.

Making a change requires passion and commitment. Be patient with yourself and be proud of your small wins as slow but sure wins the race. Feel free to join one of our online training courses that will assist you change your life and change your destiny here.

Disclaimer: Forensic Healing, Marisa Russo and Spiritual Development for women are not a professional medical body. Any information contained in any videos/publications/comments/blog posts etc are for entertainment purposes only. All information is intended for general guidance and must not be considered a substitute for advice provided by a doctor or other qualified healthcare professional. Marisa Russo or Forensic Healing makes no warranties or representation of any kind concerning the accuracy or suitability of the information contained on this channel, websites, videos, social media pages, blog posts etc.”