Does your broken relationship need an autopsy report, to reveal the choices that left you feeling like a lonely, heartbroken, depressed, single woman? Some women stay in relationships for their “potential,” and some relationships start positive before they take a dark, sinister turn.
You may still be in a quandary, wondering why you gave so much in your recently ended relationship. And even worse, you discovered your ex-has already moved on and left you without a second thought.
To find the cause of your predicament, switch on your CSI brain, put your hair in pigtails, slip on your black-rimmed reading glasses and white lab coat, tattoo your arm and set up the glass test tubes–because the following relationship autopsy report, reveals a nine-step checklist of causes to unhappy breakups.
9-Step Checklist of Causes to Unhappy Breakups
If your childhood was lonely, to avoid the pain of being alone in your adult relationships, you do anything to keep them together. You overlook and make excuses for behaviour that indicates things are NQR!
Your mind focuses on protecting yourself from being lonely, so it overrides all logical thinking as you believe it’s better to have anyone, rather than no one.
Your past experiences accumulate in your energy field and then attract similar situations. If you experienced abuse or neglect in your childhood, you become vulnerable to attracting and tolerating abusive or controlling partners as an adult.
An abusive childhood instills low self-worth, which makes you easily manipulated to stay in bad relationships.
Not Dealing with Your Stuff
You can’t keep sweeping your unresolved feelings, stress or traumas under the rug. If your past is unresolved, you will search for distractions, options to mask the pain, or seek refuge with another person through your relationship.
Relationships are always a match in energy
Your partner might also match your dysfunctionality, and together you will create a mutually dysfunctional relationship, relying on each other for happiness.
At some point, all the dysfunction and unexpressed feelings will take their toll, as each party blames the other for their unhappiness.
The programming to nurture others is in women’s DNA. It has become difficult for women to ask for what they want, or receive equality in relationships.
If you give more in your relationships, you will eventually feel depleted, and angry that your partner hasn’t given equally in return. You silently think they should return the same amount of attention and love that you provide to them.
Expecting others to return the same commitment as you, will cause conflict. Consider making the changes within and give more to yourself!
Is This Your Mission Statement?
“I should avoid the appearance of being “selfish” or neglectful to others. My primary job is to serve others and put myself last. I must ensure that I appear as a good person and adapt myself to fit in and be accepted.”
This selfless way of living is unsustainable. Shift your thinking and value yourself. You can energetically shift this conditioning through the free Freeing Women Activation.
You Don’t Value Your Love
Women have a powerful ability to love, heal, lead, counsel and nurture. When you acknowledge these abilities as a priceless gift, you’ll require others to respect and value your gift.
When you give something away for free, it is rarely appreciated, as there is no value placed on it! Decide that your love and compassion has immeasurable worth!
Are you waiting for your knight in shining armour to rescue you from your misery? When he does turn up, he’ll probably expect you to remain as his damsel in distress so that he can fulfill his rescuer role. Then, if you decide to change your status by becoming empowered, the relationship changes as he no longer feels in control.
On the other hand, maybe you’ve been plucking out grey hairs waiting for Prince Charming to arrive. And due to the shortage of Prince Charmings, in your desperation, you latch onto the first seemingly decent man you find.
This satisfies your mother’s need to have grandchildren; it also relieves the pressure of fulfilling your “predestined” role of getting married, having children, and living in a house with a white picket fence, etc.,
If you paused to think about what you wanted to do, it might look a lot different to what you felt pressured to do.
Family and Friends Don’t Like Your Partner
Research shows that better decisions are made when they are decided by a group of people, rather than one person.
Red flags appear when you ignore the non-biased opinions of others–especially when they’re concerned about your partner. Burying your head in the sand keeps you from asking the hard questions to create accountability for yourself and your partner. This causes you to avoid and deny the truth of your relationship, which usually ends with shock and confusion.
Bad Role Models
Your benchmark and programming for your current relationships are modeled by your parents. If they modeled a dysfunctional relationship with each other, that becomes your “norm” and the only way you know how to interact.
Your interactions with others function on automatic pilot until you purposely reprogram yourself.
It’s a sign that you need to move on and heal your emotional state when you:
- Think of your ex daily
- Long for your ex to contact you, and think of reasons to contact them
- Go to bed feeling lonely, wishing your ex-was with you
- Doubt yourself and your worth[/cs_icon_list_item
- Go to places hoping you might bump into your ex
- Review all your past correspondence from your ex
- Constantly check your phone for new messages from your ex
- Experience sleepless nights
- Ache physically from the loss
- Don’t feel “present” or connected with others
- Want your ex back even though the relationship was destructive
6 Steps to Move Forward
1.Return Your Soul Parts
When you’re involved in intimate relationships, your energies are interchanged and this can leave you feeling drained. You might lose pieces of yourself, or give them away to the other person.
Start an internal dialogue with yourself, and request for the return of your soul fragments. When you become “whole,” spiritually, emotionally and energetically, you will feel less emotional pain and loss.
2. Create a Pros and Cons List
Make a list of all the positive and negative traits from your past relationship. As you study the list, be grateful for the things that worked, and identify the things that didn’t work. Find clarity to create a wishlist of the traits you require in your next relationship.
3. No Contact
If you’re finding it hard to move on, remove your ex’s details from social media, your phone, etc. Remove all reminders in your home, as they energetically connect you to the memories.
Refrain from having regrets, wondering what the relationship could’ve been. Repeat this mantra: “Everything happens for a reason.”
4. Express and Heal Yourself
Start journaling your thoughts if there is unfinished business with your ex. Express the things you wanted to say, but never did. Describe your pain, disappointments, and anger. Keep writing until you feel a sense of closure and include your desires to attract a better relationship.
5. Engage in New Activities
Commit to activities that take you out of your comfort zone; especially activities that you enjoy and involve healing.Keep yourself busy, join a gym, visit friends, register for a workshop, visit an animal shelter, join a meditation class, read a good book, begin a juice cleanse, etc.
Make the extra time you have being single, as a gift to yourself. The best changes I’ve made occurred when things were challenging which pushed me to create better outcomes.
6. Find the Silver Lining
Anything difficult or challenging can have a silver lining if you look for it. Improve yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, so you’re more connected, attuned and balanced.
The day will come when you look back and see the chain of events that lead to amazing and positive outcomes.
When you choose to do something constructive, instead of drinking yourself under the table-the light at the end of the tunnel appears!
The Best Relationships
There is nothing that brings more happiness and fulfillment than being in a loving, respectful, passionate and honest relationship. Become those things and you will attract the same back to you.
You deserve to be supported, loved and free to be yourself. The world is waiting for you to reveal your true self and gifts. In the comments section below, share your positive outcomes that came from moving on from a relationship that no longer served you.
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