When you admire or love someone, you make unconscious and conscious decisions to be like them. This admiration is influencing your everyday attractions and decisions on many levels that you may not be aware.
Each day you are making decisions that are molding you to become more like the people you admire, love or have committed to follow. This can have detrimental effects, as you most likely neglected to look closely at their beliefs, actions, and the consequences of their beliefs. Some of their views may work for you, but some may not.
Let me explain …
Your Biggest Influencers
Your parents are the biggest influencers in your life. They taught you about life and how to respond to it when you were a child. If you had a closer relationship with one particular parent, then you will become more like them than the other.
One of the recurring problems I encounter in my practice is with women whose mothers endured a problematic life and sacrificed for them. These women know their mothers loved them, and acknowledge their sacrifice as a noble and selfless act. This becomes the yardstick to live by and causes them to emulate this behaviour. They learn to ignore their own needs and feelings. They unconsciously believe that struggling through a difficult life makes them worthy, noble, selfless, and ultimately they become like the people they most love.
Mother Teresa, a noble and caring woman, would pray to God that she would always experience suffering, so she would always know God. Today, suffering and hardship is not the way forward. Life has been hard enough for so many people, a new way has to be created and emulated.
When I was very religious, I agreed to follow Jesus. He was my saviour, and the ultimate role model. When I followed his teachings (turn the other cheek, always forgive, be selfless, and serve my fellow man) I created a martyr’s life for myself. I now understand how I unconsciously attracted a life of hardship and physical and emotional suffering. The Christlike life I was attempting to live was unbalanced, and I felt exhausted in every way possible.
Analyse Why You Do What You Do
You can analyse your current beliefs by looking at your life right now. Which areas aren’t working for you? Think about who has influenced your life, and look closely at their experiences, and the type of life they lived. Did they also struggle in areas that don’t work for you? It’s important to separate the areas which empower you from those which do not.
Decide To Create New Beliefs
Once you have analysed and discerned what and where your negative beliefs came from, you can replace them with new and empowering beliefs. This will improve the areas that aren’t working. It’s a well known universal law that what you believe you attract and create.
I believe our purpose is to give and serve others. However, it must be balanced. If you keep giving to others when you don’t have the energy, time or resources, then you diminish yourself. This can manifest as emotional, physical or spiritual dysfunction. Giving and receiving can be balanced more easily if you think of yourself as a pair of scales. These scales must be kept in balance. When you give, balance out the scales and allow yourself to receive. It doesn’t necessarily have to be from those you give to. It could be spending time alone, receiving a massage, or spending time with friends. Choose things that uplift and energise you.
The way forward is to choose people and teachings that respect your individuality and empower and uplift you to reach your full potential. All of us have different needs and abilities, so when you tune into your feelings, you will know and find your balance in life that continually directs you to become more.
Sending you love and blessing.
Blessings and love,