In a lot of cases, Christmas is a time that people get together just because they are related. It isn’t always a reunion that you would choose to attend! “Holy goodnight” I hear you sigh as you immerse yourself in the dread of what you are about to endure with your relations!
Significant growth can come from associations with people who have been close to you or in your life for long periods. These people have a significant influence on you, and it may not always be positive and enjoyable. Life is about patterns and beliefs which are likely to become more evident in our most uncomfortable relationships.
Belief systems and expectations can work for your good
I love telling the story about one of my clients who I had known for some years. She said that her partners and boyfriends treated her well and it was always a great relationship. She even remained friends with some of them after the breakups. Just recently, she told me that she posted her profile on RSVP which is an online dating agency.
My client agreed to go on 10 dates with guys who approached her online via her profile. Of the ten dates, what do you think her success rate was like? You’re probably thinking that she had a low success as most of them would have been “losers!”
She replied that they were all really nice guys and treated her respectfully. In my mind, I am thinking “all ten guys were nice?!” Two of the dates she liked so much she wanted to take the relationships further. The only stories I have heard about online dating agencies are quite the opposite. This story is a perfect demonstration of how your patterns, belief systems and what you say to yourself and others manifest into reality.
Let’s get back to the family and Christmas get-togethers. If there is a family member who triggers deep-seated emotions or makes you feel uncomfortable? This is a message for you to change something about yourself. I often talk about people’s negative life patterns…
– For instance, ‘victim’ which is when bad things occur and you feel unfairly treated, or
– ‘Judgment’ which means you are very critical to yourself and feel judged by others, or
– The most common pattern of ‘sacrifice’. You put yourself last and undervalue your needs.
Most of these patterns originate in childhood, where you learn how life operates and keep recreating the pattern.
Your closest associations expose your patterns tenfold. These patterns are not just with your family relationships, but they echo out in other relationships you create. If there is a person who you feel ‘ruins’ your Christmas this year, identify the negative pattern that gets triggered.
This will also be evident in other difficult relationships. Take a step back and look at what you are creating. There is always a vibration in you that activates others behaviours.
Decide to change yourself internally. Take back your power. Thank them in your thoughts. For example, say to yourself, “Thank you for reminding me to love myself”. Or “Thank you for reminding me to empower myself”. Appreciate that they are part of you as we are all connected.
Use negative relationships to change yourself
Take the pain and hurt you have felt and direct it into something positive. When you have hurt, blame and anger towards another, you also hurt them energetically. This process scars your soul. The Universe wants you to be free, and if you continually blame another, then you fail to see the life lessons.
You are responsible for your own life and how you feel. The people who are the most difficult, compel you to change. You most times change when the pain becomes unbearable.
My challenge for this Christmas and New Year is for you to bask in the glorious freedom of knowing that you are the creator. You are here to be so much more.
Fill your heart with love for yourself, and that will flow out to others. You are a vibration that emits continual frequencies so tune them into what you want coming back to you.
Sending you blessings and love.
P.S And remember… You are loved