Many methods can heal someone, but there is none more powerful than the words you say.

One past Forensic Healing student explained that she had spent decades trying to overcome her fear of water. Sadly, when she was a child, aside from all forms of the physical abuse she suffered, her father would randomly and callously push her head underwater to almost drowning her.

This abused woman grew up with a fear of water. She tried many treatments to release her fears, including medications, electric shock treatments, and other types of counselling and alternative healing methods to release the intense fears she carried. None of them worked for her until one day while she was in the workshop she heard three powerful healing words which I am going to share and explain why they are so effective when said with sincerity.

I am sorry

These three words are so powerful that I included them as a healing pathway in Forensic Healing system to help survivors of abuse overcome their past. I understand the power they have as I longed to hear them myself to help me heal from my childhood abuse. I needed to hear the words “I am sorry” from my father when I mustered enough courage to confront him.

I longed to hear him say he was sorry for all the abuse I encountered as a child. The wounded child inside wanted to know that it was not my fault, and I was not deserving of what he did to me. If my father apologised, it would have released the burden I had been carrying my whole life. Not even my mother apologised for his behaviour. I felt the pain intensify when my pleas were looked upon with disdain and my father handed me his apology letter, which was a list of reasons why he was sorry I was ever born. It felt like he had sent a dagger into my heart and twisted the knife.

Longing for an apology

However painful the exchange was, I understood how damaging the absence of the apology caused. When I say I am sorry for someones pain and suffering, it is often the first time the victim has received an apology for their abuse. It is often the first time their “inner child” is told they did not deserve the maltreatment. These words can finally free someone who has experienced abuse, or even those who thought it was normal to be ignored or not appreciated.

A child’s pain needs to be acknowledged so that healing can begin. When everyone is in denial or says “just get over it,” it reinforces that the pain inflicted upon you was justified.